List of Characters:
Norm MacDonald - Burt Reynolds
Darrell Hammond - John Travolta
Matthew Perry (Host) - A pathetic impression of Michael Keaton
Will Ferrell - Alex Trebek

Added to site: May 30, 2002.

Celebrity Jeopardy - October 4th, 1997

Alex Trebek: Welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. And let's take a look at the scores. John Travolta has negative $2,000. In a close second with negative $1,900 is Michael Keaton. And in first place, with zero is our returning champion, Burt Reynolds. Who, of course has yet to ring in.

It's time now for Double Jeopardy. And once again for this round, contestants, I'd like to remind you: please, no cursing. Let's take a look at the board. The categories are… 'Continents', 'Theatre', 'Potpourri', 'Potent Potables', 'Numbers', 'Words That Rhyme With Dog', and finally 'The Renaissance'. And you know what? Let's just replace that last category with 'Shapes'. [Category panel flips around revealing 'Shapes'] Burt Reynolds, you pick the category.

Burt Reynolds: Yeah, gimme uh… Theatre for $10,000.

Trebek: Theatre for $600. The answer is: This play by William Shakespeare was about a merchant who lived in Venice."

Reynolds rings in

Trebek: Burt Reynolds?

Reynolds: Yeah, that was Footloose. Good flick, Footloose.

Trebek: No. And please answer in the form of a question.

John Travolta rings in

Trebek: John Travolta?

Travolta: Is this a horror flick we're talking about? Cause I love horror flicks.

Trebek: It's, it's not a flick at all.

Travolta: …Ok, Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

Trebek: No, and please answer in the form of a question!

Travolta: That was a question, who framed him?

Michael Keaton rings in

Trebek: Mr. Keaton?

[Keaton makes a series of facial expressions and hand gestures]

Trebek: …Mr. Keaton? [He continues] - time buzzer rings.

Trebek: I -I don't think we can accept facial expressions as an answer. Uh, Mr. Reynolds, it's your board, pick a category.

Reynolds: I'll take the dog one.

Trebek: All right, 'Words That Rhyme With Dog' for $400. And the answer is: It's been a hard days night, I should be sleeping like a "this".

Reynolds rings in

Trebek: Burt Reynolds?

Reynolds: Chinese whore.

Trebek: No.

Travolta rings in

Trebek: John Travolta?

Travolta: Chinese whore doesn't rhyme with dog.

Trebek: That's why it was a wrong answer.

Keaton rings in

Trebek: Mr. Keaton?

Keaton: I'm Batman!

Trebek: No, you are not. And the board still belongs--

Reynolds rings in three times

Trebek: What, Mr. Reynolds?

Reynolds: I think, ah, I think my buzzer's broken.

Trebek: No it’s not, you just buzzed in.

Reynolds: No I didn't. [Rings twice] I- I think it's broken.

Trebek: Mr. Travolta, why don't you pick a category?

Travolta: 'Continents' for $600.

Trebek: And it's the Audio Daily Double. How much do you want to wager?

Travolta: I wanna play it safe, I'll wager zero dollars.

Trebek: All right for zero. Here's your audio daily double clue: Name this continent:

Audio Daily Double Voice: ASIA.

[Travolta looks around thinking]

Trebek: Mr. Travolta?

Audio Daily Double Voice: ASIA.

- time buzzer rings -

Trebek: Time has run out. The answer was Asia.

Reynolds: Eh, tough luck there, buddy, eh?

[Reynolds pats Travolta on the back]

Trebek: Okay, moving on…

Reynolds rings in

Trebek: What is it, Mr. Reynolds?

Reynolds: Check out this guy's back.

[Travolta turns around. There’s a ‘kick me’ sign taped to his back]

Trebek: That's nice you put a 'kick me' sign on Mr. Travolta's back.

Reynolds: Yeah! Ha ha!

Travolta: Oh-that's, that's good. (laughs)

Reynolds: I did it when he- I did I t when he wasn't looking.

Trebek: That's very nice. Good job, Burt. Tell you what, we're gonna let Michael Keaton pick a category.

Keaton: All right, um, ‘Number’. You see, because sometimes it helps to understand a word if we break-it-down. Let's do that now, shall we? 'Num'. See, if you're numb, you can't feel… see, yeah, if you're numb, you can't feel and then 'bur'-

Trebek: ‘Numbers’, for $800. And the answer is: This number comes between 5 and 7.

Keaton rings in

Trebek: Mr. Keaton?

Keaton: See, and then 'bur' if you're, you know, if you're cold, that's a sound that you would make. So, I guess my answer would be, uh, somebody who can't feel that they're, uh, that they're cold.

Trebek: No.

Keaton: What is somebody who can't feel when they're cold?

Trebek: No, no, Mr. Keaton, I know what you're trying to do, just stop.

Reynolds rings in

Trebek: Mr. Reynolds?

Reynolds: Yeah, I think I fixed it… My buzzer, I think I fixed it. [Rings three times]

Trebek: I see. You know what? Let's just move on to Final Jeopardy, with every player in negative numbers. And the category is… you know what, this is way too hard, I'm just gonna make one up. How about your favorite food? Just write down whatever food you personally like most. Any food you like to eat.

"Jeopardy Theme" begins playing

Trebek: Your favorite food… Keep in mind, you can't be wrong… You can even lie to me and just put down a food.

"Jeopardy Theme" ends

Trebek: Ok, and put down your pens. Mr. Travolta, let's see what you put. Your favorite food is… Miso! A type of soup! Excellent! And your wager… Horny. Me… so horny. Great.

Travolta: Come on, that's hilarious.

Trebek: No, it's not. Now, let's look at Mr. Reynolds answer. "Check out Keaton's back."

[Keaton turns around. There’s a ‘kick me’ sign taped to his back]

Reynolds: Haah!

Trebek: Right, very funny.

Reynolds: Yeah, he didn't know it was on there.

Trebek: Shut up, just shut up. Let's see what Mr. Keaton came up with. You wrote, "Val Kilmer Sucks."

Keaton: I'm Batman!

Trebek: Okay, and your wager, "George Clooney sucks." Well, no one won, apparently...

Reynolds: I - I won.

Trebek: No, you didn't.

Reynolds: Sure I did.

Trebek: Anyway, that's it for Celebrity Jeopardy. Once again, no money will be given to charity.

Reynolds: Seriously, I did win.

Trebek: No, you didn't.

Reynolds: Yeah, I did.

Transcribed by: Kayte
Provided by: jobe